Girl on Barbie (2013)

You have Barbie dolls in your basement
with tiny shoes and tiny other things.
How’s her hair? Sticky?
I always thought she used a little too much product.
Do you love her? Do you touch her?
Is she strapped in a box or out and about
peeking in on you.

Do you make her dresses or buy them
wash and iron them?
Are her lips updated with new shades of color?
Is her mani and pedi french, american, reverse french?
Decisions decisions
I know they would keep me awake.

Is there any discussion about a future
for ‘the two of you’?
Will she bring her furniture to your place?
or maybe yours will go to her condo.
The “healthy” thing to do is buy all new—just sayin’.

Can you share the bed with a bisexual
and what about that Ken. Will he stay in the picture.
oh right, polyamorous is her way.
You know—Midge, Skipper and Francie
she does get around,
Can you handle that?
Whatever—
keep Midge in the picture, she’s a hottie.

What about children?
She already has Tutti, Chris and Todd.
are you getting in way over your head?
Consider the child care costs
and how radically your lives will change.
They’re cute, but the bondage dungeon
in the basement will have to go.
You’ll need room for all those bicycles
and kids gear.
Sacrifices must be made.

Have you discussed the possibility of a commitment ceremony?
I mean there isn’t any legal marriage for dolls and girls yet
(wellllll… depending )
Will you get into the political fray of fighting for equal rights?

And what about more extensive healthcare?
Maybe consider an additional AFLAC policy in case one of you
should come down with a dire illness?
I hear Barbie might be prone to mildew, especially
because of her time in that damp basement which has
been known to trigger the genetic propensity in dolls to
develop this debilitating disease in later years.

I hope these questions are not influencing you in any particular
way. Be strong and follow your heart to The Dream House.
After all, Barbie has a Mini Cooper now.